FFXIV Player Hasn’t Logged in Since Being Told to Touch Grass

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Final Fantasy XIV players are not the toxically positive My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic bunch you would assume they were due to the overwhelming positivity on Twitter. Sometimes you have people in the community who legitimately have never touched grass. Those who have forsaken the silken smooth skin of a maiden or ripped chiseled abs of Chad.

The typical response to these players, the ones who always have something demeaning to say when you wipe once on day 1 patch content, is to tell them to “touch grass.”

None of them ever do… until recently.

One player (clearly a Dragoon), so irrationally angry and demeaning to a sprout tank who forgot to turn on their tank stance during the first pull, was told by the healer to “touch grass.”

That’s when the Dragoon fell silent.

The concept of touching grass, does it smell like a fresh-mowed lawn? Smell is the most robust sense of nostalgia. A flood of memories filled the Dragoon’s head. The smell of fresh-mowed grass as a child, running around the front yard while his parents argued inside. A child with boundless potential. A fresh slate that could be anyone they wanted to be, other than a complete failure whose emotions are tied to video games.

The Dragoon logged off immediately, wishing the party luck beforehand knowing they would have to go through an entire dungeon without a DPS that ended up getting filled immediately.

Since touching grass, and shedding off the layer of regret, the Dragoon has not logged in since.

Rumors are, that the Dragoon took the time away from feeling forced to always play FFXIV despite the director’s insistence on breaks, went back to school, found a respectable job, met a partner, and built a stable future. One where they could come back to FFXIV and not be a complete and utter doorknob.

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