FFXIV Director Wants People to Be Nice To Each Other While Brutally Murdering Each Other Over Crystals

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Final Fantasy XIV, the hit game that prides itself on being the lone wholesome MMORPG in a lineup that includes World of Warcraft and some dead-on-arrival titles, introduced a new PvP mode so competitive that it’s caused enough toxicity to land on the Yoshi-P’s radar. Let’s break down the statement unnecessarily because that’s just what people do.

“Repeatedly using the quick chat phrase ‘Nice Job!’ during a disadvantageous situation.”

Sometimes a situation seems bleak. You can’t go into a war thinking with the mindset that you’re going to lose. You just have to take the small victories, even in disastrous situations. Do you think the three-hundred Spartans at The Battle of Thermopylae didn’t tell each other “Nice Job!” as they were eventually surrounded?

“Setting off fireworks on top of a downed opponent.”

When a beached whale dies, it’s common to have the carcass detonated with explosives to prevent injury from a whale exploding by itself due to trapped gas. Why can’t we do the same with the flesh of the catgirls we down in PvP Yoshi-P?

“Using and repeating an emote on top of a downed opponent”

To the spoils go the victor, as they say. This isn’t chess. This isn’t plastic pieces being carefully moved across a board while we twirl our handlebar mustaches near our monocles. This is war. This is truck driver, Jim, and his cute UWU Xaela vs. femcel Kathrynnn with a Y and three N’s. We have so little. Let us triumph in our moment of pixelated victory.

“In any case, we will continue to make adjustments to PvP job balancing to bring even more exciting, passionate PvP content to you. Please continue to enjoy your matches while upholding the code of conduct.”

Basically: “We want this content to elicit passionate emotion, but only if it’s borderline toxic positivity.”

Tongue-in-cheek humor aside. It’s always great to be good to each other but to expect nothing but wholesome Disney fun is unrealistic. What do you think of Yoshi-P’s response to behavior during PvP?

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